How can you improve your communication skills

How can you improve your communication skills?

I know how you feel about wanting to improve your communication skills.
I'll bet mine were not as good as yours are now.
When I was twenty people used to ask me if I talked because I rarely said anything.
That continued up until I got a steady girlfriend at age 23 and started talking to her about anything and everything.
I found my biggest barrier was fear of what people thought of me.
Fear is always.
.
.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

It's an illusion we 'buy into' and believe in.
We copy most of our communication skills and habits from our parents at a very deep level in our unconscious so we're often oblivious to it.
By being what seemed to be at the time, very brave I started to talk more and more.
When people don't talk they think and when I started to talk people actually thought I had interesting things to say and when someone one day said to me 'Tim, you say such interesting things when you talk, where do you get these ideas from?" I replied with, "I just think about what I'm going to say before I say it to see if it's worthwhile saying it.
"
The person replied with "That's brilliant!"
That made me more confident and gave me the belief I did have interesting things to say and confidence is what's needed probably more than anything else to be a better communicator.
When I read How to Win Friends and Influence People at age 27 everything changed for me.
I transferred my focus from myself to other people and I needed that to take the focus of myself because I was too self conscious and worried about anyone's opinion of me.
At age 28 I got inspired by an inspirational speaker at a seminar and decided I wanted to become a great speaker and contribute and enrich to other people's lives too.
That seemed like a crazy idea considering how scared I was of other people's opinions at the time but the desire was stronger than the fear.
Without much training at all on public speaking and 3 years after entering the business coaching industry I ran my first seminar with 5 people in the audience, not caring if I got a sale or not and that took the pressure off me.
In hindsight it was appallingly bad but I didn't care because I has started my public speaking profession.
I believe the only reason people aren't good communicators is because they don't have enough self confidence because they are scared of what people think of them from opening their mouth and speaking.
I recommend you read books, listen to speakers and build a vision of who you want to become whether it's a speaker or not.
Simply get clear in your mind of making a difference to people's lives about what you do say when you speak as that will inspire you to overcome your fear of speaking.
I've found quiet people who don't talk much have valuable insights to share with people because they do think a lot.
People who talk a lot often don't think much so they value people like you that do.
So don't keep your wisdom to yourself, share it with those around you.
Attend a Toastmasters meeting as it's for people just like you who want to be better communicators so they won't judge you.
Learning a lot more about people also greatly improves your communication skills and I invite you to look at my website for a video of a one hour webinar I ran on effective communication a couple of months ago.
If you like what you see then subscribe to my emails and you'll learn a lot more on how to be a better communicator with invitations to my one day courses.
The web page of the webinar is

In theory, there are many ways to improve your communication skills.
However, the two stages you will have to face are these: 1) understand a technique, how to do it and why it’s useful, then 2) practice practice practice, so that it becomes part of your general habit of behaviour – as natural to you as breathing, walking, or any other physical activity – by building the necessary neural networks to support your technique.
If you read all the books, watch all the videos and attend all the seminars, you will have a lot of knowledge, but very little communication skill, unless you apply the techniques & behaviours in your personal and professional interactions.
In terms of ‘learning’, a nice simple quote from Tony Robbins supports my view of how to become really good at something: ‘The path to success is to take massive, determined action.

There are many books that claim to be able to make you a great communicator, but they all contain similar stuff.
The most important part of the process of becoming a great communicator is the desire and will to share your message with others: you have to actually DO it.
The most common obstacle you will face is your own discomfort with how close it makes you feel to other people: you will be unsettled by the power you have to affect other people, and also how listening to them and committing to delivering your message makes you intimate with their thoughts and feelings.
You have to become comfortable, not only with practicing the communication techniques themselves, but with how they affect your emotions, your relationships etc.
This can take time.
When it comes to seeking ‘professional’ support to improve your communication, you also have many options.
As a coach and trainer I offer the following services to my communication clients:
I’m sure there are other ways to learn, but these are the ones I use most routinely!
I’d just like to offer a word or two of encouragement and advice about the process of picking up and taking on new communication skills, especially if you’re looking for a more comprehensive outcome than a ‘quick trick’ to enhance your performance in meetings (also perfectly valid).
Setting out to change your habits of communication is a brave personal choice.
Like all transformational processes, it is challenging and can be disorienting.
You will sometimes feel neither ‘who you were’, nor ‘who you want to be’.
When you experience moments of doubt and uncertainty – which is perfectly natural – just remind yourself of the simple and solid logic of learning: muscular practice and repetition, along with application in real life situations, builds new neural networks in the brain (new knowledge and skill) which can be embedded ever more deeply with repeated use.
All skills grow according to the same processes, from learning a language, music, sports to maths problems and complex manual tasks.
Be prepared for lots of new and exciting feedback from friends, family and colleagues as you demonstrate your new skills.
The key mantra here is: the bolder we are with our practice, the more rapidly we can create change.
Finally, a word on choosing a coach.
As someone who works as an actor as well as a skills coach, I believe that all learning should be ‘holistic’: you can’t change anything about yourself in isolation.
For example: if you develop a more rooted, powerful and engaged voice, you may find your posture changes, and then you may start to use bigger gestures when you speak.
All this needs to be discussed with a coach who can help you make sense of it.
A great coach will closely watching your development, keeping a good record of your progress, and will help you understand the psychological, physical and emotional aspects of the learning process.
The main things you should look for is mutual respect, ease of communication and that you feel safe to experiment and to fail.
To me, ‘playing’ is one of the most important ways to learn.
Having fun in a session is DEFINITELY going to make the learning easier and more effective, even if the lessons go by a little faster! Find a coach you like and can have fun with.
I hope this answer is useful and not over-long.
Best of luck with your communication career! I hope you have fun and brings more good things your way.
Theo Devaney

Number one: Be brief.
A good conversation is like a miniskirt;short enough to retain interest,but long enough to coverthe subject.

Number two: Be interested in other people and Don't pontificate.

Everyone has some hidden,amazing thing about them and they know something that you don'
.
they might have to stop for a moment and think about it,and you're going to getva much more interesting response.
let them describe it
.
They're the ones that know.
Number four:Don't equateyour experience with theirs.

For example, If they're talking about having lost a family member,don't start talking about the time you lost a family member.
If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job.
It's not the same.
It is never the same.
All experiences are individual.
And, more importantly,it is not about you.
You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered.
Number five: Stay out of the weeds.
Frankly, people don't careabout the years, the names,the dates.
What they care about is you.
Last but the most important one: Listen
Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing,"If your mouth is open,you're not learning.
"
But we'd rather talk.
Because when I'm talking, I'm in control.
I'm the center of attention.
So, You have to listen to one another.
Stephen Covey said it very beautifully.
He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand.
We listen with the intent to reply.
"
Go out, talk to people,listen to people,and, most importantly,be prepared to be amazed.

to see more detail at

Here I have given the answer for your question and for more details"
The person replied with "That's brilliant!"
That made me more confident and gave me the belief I did have interesting things to say and confidence is what's needed probably more than anything else to be a better communicator.
When I read How to Win Friends and Influence People at age 27 everything changed for me.
I transferred my focus from myself to other people and I needed that to take the focus of myself because I was too self conscious and worried about anyone's opinion of me.
At age 28 I got inspired by an inspirational speaker at a seminar and decided I wanted to become a great speaker and contribute and enrich to other people's lives too.
That seemed like a crazy idea considering how scared I was of other people's opinions at the time but the desire was stronger than the fear.
Without much training at all on public speaking and 3 years after entering the business coaching industry I ran my first seminar with 5 people in the audience, not caring if I got a sale or not and that took the pressure off me.
In hindsight it was appallingly bad but I didn't care because I has started my public speaking profession.
I believe the only reason people aren't good communicators is because they don't have enough self confidence because they are scared of what people think of them from opening their mouth and speaking.
I recommend you read books, listen to speakers and build a vision of who you want to become whether it's a speaker or not.
Simply get clear in your mind of making a difference to people's lives about what you do say when you speak as that will inspire you to overcome your fear of speaking.
I've found quiet people who don't talk much have valuable insights to share with people because they do think a lot.
People who talk a lot often don't think much so they value people like you that do.
So don't keep your wisdom to yourself, share it with those around you.
Attend a Toastmasters meeting as it's for people just like you who want to be better communicators so they won't judge you.
Learning a lot more about people also greatly improves your communication skills and I invite you to look at my website for a video of a one hour webinar I ran on effective communication a couple of months ago.
If you like what you see then subscribe to my emails and you'll learn a lot more on how to be a better communicator with invitations to my one day courses.
The web page of the webinar is

In theory, there are many ways to improve your communication skills.
However, the two stages you will have to face are these: 1) understand a technique, how to do it and why it’s useful, then 2) practice practice practice, so that it becomes part of your general habit of behaviour – as natural to you as breathing, walking, or any other physical activity – by building the necessary neural networks to support your technique.
If you read all the books, watch all the videos and attend all the seminars, you will have a lot of knowledge, but very little communication skill, unless you apply the techniques & behaviours in your personal and professional interactions.
In terms of ‘learning’, a nice simple quote from Tony Robbins supports my view of how to become really good at something: ‘The path to success is to take massive, determined action.

There are many books that claim to be able to make you a great communicator, but they all contain similar stuff.
The most important part of the process of becoming a great communicator is the desire and will to share your message with others: you have to actually DO it.
The most common obstacle you will face is your own discomfort with how close it makes you feel to other people: you will be unsettled by the power you have to affect other people, and also how listening to them and committing to delivering your message makes you intimate with their thoughts and feelings.
You have to become comfortable, not only with practicing the communication techniques themselves, but with how they affect your emotions, your relationships etc.
This can take time.
When it comes to seeking ‘professional’ support to improve your communication, you also have many options.
As a coach and trainer I offer the following services to my communication clients:
I’m sure there are other ways to learn, but these are the ones I use most routinely!
I’d just like to offer a word or two of encouragement and advice about the process of picking up and taking on new communication skills, especially if you’re looking for a more comprehensive outcome than a ‘quick trick’ to enhance your performance in meetings (also perfectly valid).
Setting out to change your habits of communication is a brave personal choice.
Like all transformational processes, it is challenging and can be disorienting.
You will sometimes feel neither ‘who you were’, nor ‘who you want to be’.
When you experience moments of doubt and uncertainty – which is perfectly natural – just remind yourself of the simple and solid logic of learning: muscular practice and repetition, along with application in real life situations, builds new neural networks in the brain (new knowledge and skill) which can be embedded ever more deeply with repeated use.
All skills grow according to the same processes, from learning a language, music, sports to maths problems and complex manual tasks.
Be prepared for lots of new and exciting feedback from friends, family and colleagues as you demonstrate your new skills.
The key mantra here is: the bolder we are with our practice, the more rapidly we can create change.
Finally, a word on choosing a coach.
As someone who works as an actor as well as a skills coach, I believe that all learning should be ‘holistic’: you can’t change anything about yourself in isolation.
For example: if you develop a more rooted, powerful and engaged voice, you may find your posture changes, and then you may start to use bigger gestures when you speak.
All this needs to be discussed with a coach who can help you make sense of it.
A great coach will closely watching your development, keeping a good record of your progress, and will help you understand the psychological, physical and emotional aspects of the learning process.
The main things you should look for is mutual respect, ease of communication and that you feel safe to experiment and to fail.
To me, ‘playing’ is one of the most important ways to learn.
Having fun in a session is DEFINITELY going to make the learning easier and more effective, even if the lessons go by a little faster! Find a coach you like and can have fun with.
I hope this answer is useful and not over-long.
Best of luck with your communication career! I hope you have fun and brings more good things your way.
Theo Devaney

Number one: Be brief.
A good conversation is like a miniskirt;short enough to retain interest,but long enough to coverthe subject.

Number two: Be interested in other people and Don't pontificate.

Everyone has some hidden,amazing thing about them and they know something that you don'
.
they might have to stop for a moment and think about it,and you're going to getva much more interesting response.
let them describe it
.
They're the ones that know.
Number four:Don't equateyour experience with theirs.

For example, If they're talking about having lost a family member,don't start talking about the time you lost a family member.
If they're talking about the trouble they're having at work, don't tell them about how much you hate your job.
It's not the same.
It is never the same.
All experiences are individual.
And, more importantly,it is not about you.
You don't need to take that moment to prove how amazing you are or how much you've suffered.
Number five: Stay out of the weeds.
Frankly, people don't careabout the years, the names,the dates.
What they care about is you.
Last but the most important one: Listen
Buddha said, and I'm paraphrasing,"If your mouth is open,you're not learning.
"
But we'd rather talk.
Because when I'm talking, I'm in control.
I'm the center of attention.
So, You have to listen to one another.
Stephen Covey said it very beautifully.
He said, "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand.
We listen with the intent to reply.
"
Go out, talk to people,listen to people,and, most importantly,be prepared to be amazed.

to see more detail at

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