How can I know who I truly am and where I belong?
This is not an easy question to answer only because it is deceptively simple.
First, you need to find what your core identity is, then you need to identify your core values, and the only place you can find them is if you look within yourself.
Watch the video below for more on who you are at your core.
What Are Your Core Values?
Before we attempt to answer this, it is important to establish what I mean by the word values.
Our values are the things we believe are most important in relation to how we live our lives.
Our values should (ideally) determine our priorities in life, and they are generally the measures we use to determine if life is heading in the direction we want it to.
Life is usually going pretty well, and we feel content and satisfied when the decisions we make and the way in which we act match our values.
However, when these don't align with our values, that's when we start feeling like something's 'wrong' and this can lead to unhappiness and frustration.
To avoid this, we must make a real effort to identify what our values actually are.
HOW UNDERSTANDING VALUES WILL HELP YOU? Whether we recognize them or not – values exist! We can make life much easier for ourselves by acknowledging our values and by making plans and decisions that honor them.
If you value family, but your job requires you to work a 60 hour week, will this cause you conflict and stress? Or perhaps you work in a competitive sales environment but you don't value competition, are you likely to have high job satisfaction? I
t's in situations like these that understanding our values can really help.
When we have a good understanding of our values, we can use them to make important life decisions and answer questions such as:
Should I leave my job? Should I accept this job promotion? Should I compromise my standards? Should I start my own business? Should I follow tradition, or take a new path in life?
Taking time to understand the real priorities in our lives will enable us to determine the best direction to take and help us work towards achieving our life goals.
Defining Your Values
Defining your personal values will help you to discover what's truly important to you.
The best way to start doing this is to reflect on your life and identify times when you felt really positive and confident that you were making good choices.
Step 1: Identify times in your life when you were at your happiest, giving examples from your personal life and your career (this will ensure some balance in your answers).
Step 2: Step 2: Identify times in your life when you were most proud, giving examples from your personal life and your career.
Why were you proud? 2.
Did other people share your pride? Who? 3.
What other factors contributed to this feeling of pride?
Step 3: Identify times in your life when you felt most fulfilled and satisfied.
Again, use both personal and work examples.
Step 4: Determine your most important values, based on your experiences of inner peace.
Consider why each experience is so memorable and important?
Use the list of common personal values on below to help you get started – aim for approximately 10 top values.
(As you work through this exercise, you may find that some of these values naturally combine.
For example, if you value generosity, philanthropy, and community, you could say that serving others is one of your top values.
DEFINING YOUR PERSONAL VALUES:
Authenticity, Accountability, Accuracy, Achievement, Adventurousness Authenticity, Ambition, Assertiveness, Balance, Belonging, Boldness, Calmness, Carefulness, Certainty, Challenge, Change, Clear-Mindedness, Commitment, Community, Compassion, Connection, Consistency, Contentment, Contribution, Creativity, Decisiveness, Dependability, Determination, Devoutness, Diligence, Discipline, Discretion, Diversity, Effectiveness, Efficiency, Empathy, Enthusiasm, Equality, Excellence, Excitement, Exploration, Expressiveness, Fairness, Faith, Freedom, Fulfillment, Generosity, Giving, Goodness, Growth, Hard Work, Honesty, Hope, Humility, Independence, Ingenuity, Identity, Increase, Justice, Leadership, Legacy, Love, Loyalty, Obedience, Openness, Peace, Practicality, Purpose, Professionalism, Progress, Reliability, Resourcefulness, Relationships, Risk, Security, Self Actualisation, Self-control, Self Improvement, Sharing, Significance, Selflessness, Self-Worth, Spontaneity, Stability, Teamwork, Temperance, Thoroughness, Timeliness, Tolerance, Traditionalism, Trustworthiness, Truth, Uncertainty, Understanding, Uniqueness, Unity, Variety, Vision, Vitality.
Note: Although this list of potential values is thorough, it is not necessarily complete.
Please feel free to add to the list if required.
STEP 5: Prioritise your ‘top’ values
This step is usually the most challenging as you'll have to look deep within yourself.
However, it's also the most important step, because, when you're faced with a decision, you may have to choose between solutions that will satisfy different values.
This is when it's crucial to know which value is more important to you.
Without worrying about the order, make a list of your top 10 values.
Look at the first two values on the list and ask yourself, 'If I could only satisfy one of these, which one would I choose?'
Work your way through the list, comparing each value with each of the other values until you've got your list in the correct order for you.
STEP 6: Reaffirm your values – Check your top-priority values, and make sure they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.
When you take into consideration your values in decision making, you can be certain to keep a sense of integrity and what you know is right, while being able to approach decisions with confidence and clarity.
You'll also know that what you're currently doing is motivated by the progress that you want to make in life.
It's not always easy to make value-based choices, but it will more than likely make life much easier in the long run.
KEY POINTS: Identifying and taking the time to understand your values is an important and challenging exercise.
Your personal values are central to who you are – and who you want to become.
By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.
Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most.
When many options seem reasonable, as a leader it can be comforting and helpful to rely on your core values, using them as a strong guiding force to point you in the right direction.
The entirety of the human race seeks this answer.
I think it is a mistake to ask this question.
The question one should ask instead is; who can I become? The problem with this question is that it places you in a box.
So, if someone asks you who you are you say stuff like, “ I am a common man”.
Once you define yourself as a common man, you are destined to become one.
I also think it is lazy to seek this answer, because it robs you of your potential.
I think human beings are a treasure trove of infinite potential.
We have so much potential, we have been to the moon.
For me the answer to this question is more like a quest, I go through life everyday, I do things, I get good at a few and no so good at others.
The things I do help me reveal a new side of myself, that I wasn't aware of.
I don't mean quit your job, travel , become a yogi etc.
But a simple things like solving a Rubik's cube, talking to a beautiful girl, a walk in the park with a 2year old.
I learn a lot of things, I pay attention to things I like, rather the things that catch my attention and ask myself why do I like this ? Then I write about it, or google it.
If you want to know more about human nature, then read.
All I wanted to say was that , you are a treasure trove of potential, and you can be who you want to be if you use that potential properly.
When I was creating my personal mission statement in autumn 2012, I realized the mechanism my brain had been using to keep me dormant.
I’d been avoiding self-analysis; if I ever sacrificed a minute to reflect on myself, my mind quickly provided the rationale to cease: “You are a sucker and you can’t change it.
” Case closed.
I functioned like that for at least sixteen years.
Those years were not exactly wasted, but I could have done much more if I’d paid attention to what was happening inside me.
Heck! What is the use of an advanced mind if it’s not properly employed?
The creation of a personal mission statement requires a lot of self-analysis.
Within a month, I did more of this than I’d done in my whole life.
And realizing how important self‑analysis was to my well-being, I jotted down a sentence in my mission statement: “Knowing myself is the most powerful thing I can do and in the end the sole weapon I possess.
Continual repetition of this sentence (together with my entire mission statement) impacted my subconscious sufficiently that I built a self‑analysis habit within seven months.
The forming of this habit was not conscious at all.
I was absorbing a lot of personal development material at that time, which included many self‑analysis exercises like goal setting and examining strengths.
I knew I wanted to transform myself, to become an entrepreneur, but I had no idea how to go about it.
Defining my idea required more questions and answers.
I started to work on my personal development and it involved a lot of tracking.
I started a few journals.
All these activities together built my self‑analysis processes into the habit I now have.
Now, I’ll reverse engineer this for you, so can prepare yourself to start a similarly useful habit.
I keep my self-analysis sessions short: from ten to twenty minutes.
Yes, I follow my own